Bad life choices!

Recently I've gotten into a disgustingly bad sleeping pattern. And what I've found amazing, but not too surprising, is the extent to which it effects my life. It's currently 3am and this is the usual time I've been finding myself awake, after hours of feeling guilty that I probably should be asleep, not in bed but actually asleep. Don't get me wrong, this is in no way a rebellion type of thing, and there is no clever and justifiable reason as to why I find myself in this silly situation, it just happens. 

Ironically, today (well yesterday now, another example of it being too late to be awake!) I put up a video about getting clear skin naturally without too much hassle. Now this is a strong piece of evidence of how you should 'do as I say not as I do' because I've found spots slowly creeping up on me these past few days. In the video I mention about sleep being an integral aspect to having clear skin and at the moment it's like every time I look into a mirror my spots are just there subtly reminding me of all my current bad life choices. It always used to annoy me when I was little and felt ill (or was just being a drama queen and hypochondriac) when my dad would always just tell me to go to sleep. There was next to no sympathy, although I know that his advice was perfectly legitimate and from a place of love but it never pleased me at the time but sleep really does fix most things!

I'm not going to sleep late either because I don't enjoy sleeping, my whole body clock just shifts so I wake up mid-afternoon everyday, be rest assured sleeping is one of my all time favourite things to do. But the quality of sleep is much less when you go to sleep later and I've certainly felt this in my over-all well being. I've been beyond lethargic, lazy and un-motivated over these past few days. I've hardly done anything, despite the prior plans I'd set myself to get done before college. As I said, my skin has just been dreadful in comparison to what it was and from the lack of caring I've consequently eaten awfully too. My mentality has shifted to an over-all more negative frame of mind, nothing quite seems so bright and cheery as it did before, haha I really feel like I'm taking you to a deep and dark place but hopefully it will convince you not to follow in my bad footsteps! 

So all in all I'm certainly aware that there are no positives to come from this current arrangement that I've got going on. But, I've got my induction for college early tomorrow (that will be a fair shock to the system) and I start properly next Monday. I know that the best way to get out of these awful habits is to force yourself into a situation that means you have to change it, if you've got bad willpower like myself. I'm hoping that all the plans that I'd made for this blog and for my YouTube will come into place a bit more when college commences and when hopefully all of my motivation returns!

Let me know if you ever find yourself getting into bad habits like this!

love, bean xx

Going to School & Home Education

Sadly it's that time of year again. For children from the UK September is the month that is the start of a new academic year. For some this means a fabulous prospect full of new beginnings but for others, it just means another dreaded year of getting up early. I was an early dropout of the schooling system, leaving at 15, deciding that I could probably do a better job then my teachers at preparing myself for my exams (there were, of course, other reasons too may I add!). It just so happened that teaching myself opened up many doors of opportunity and it enabled me to have my first proper taste of what the performing industry was like too in the big wide world. It's safe to say, I learnt a lot from teaching myself but I equally learnt as much before, when I'd gone to 8 schools altogether, I was certainly never 'deprived' of the school experience! 

The 8 schools varied greatly for me, each one teaching me different lessons - the majority of the lessons being of course outside the classroom. I think the problems I found at school were usually about fitting in whilst remaining true to who I am. I was interested in quite a few different types of things then the majority of other people, veganism being a prime example, and conforming to fit in and forget these interests was never my strong point. The other aspect I struggled with at school was that it wasn't until much later on that I found out that I'm dyslexic. This gave me a much stronger understanding of how my brain tends to work in a different way to other people, and how it also effects the best ways for me to learn. So when I taught myself I was able to plan it all in a way that was specific to the best way in which I learn. 

In retrospect I suppose I could have stayed at some of the schools for longer then my average of about 18 months, but I never regret it because from each school I learnt invaluable things about myself. There are so many things to say about the topic of school because it's a time of so much growth and self-discovery. You go through puberty, have the stress of sitting exams all whilst trying to balance your hobbies and friends as-well. It's a very demanding time filled with a lot of expectations and I don't believe that anybody goes through school without copious difficulties along the way. At the time it can feel like the be all and end all and that you're the only person in the entire world feeling how you're feeling but this just isn't the case. I now see that there's much more to life then being one of the 'popular people' and getting the perfect grades!

I am now venturing back into conventional education (sort of) by going to college and doing a qualification in performing arts, I must admit I am slightly nervous because no matter how many times you put yourself into a completely new situation the initial nerves always seem to crop up. I'm hoping that due to there being a big similarity between us all, in the sense that we all love performing, that it will be easier in terms of friends then in school but only time will tell! The video, click on the picture below, is showing you my college morning routine, it was pretty much the same when I was at school (the majority of the products I use are vegan). Feel free to let me know how you found/are finding being at school!

Love, bean xx

Time to explain a few things...

At this stage in my life I am not as strict a vegan as I would like to be, as I've said before I don't believe it's something that can happen overnight but I see it more as a gradual process.  For example, I recently went and did an intense course down south for 2 weeks where we put on a show at the end. We were working 12 hour days and our food was catered for us therefore it was quite difficult to eat a proper vegan diet. I made the decision that I would try my hardest but not to be too dramatic (I left that for the stage!) and ate a predominately vegetarian diet. This wasn't ideal and my face was instantly covered in spots due to the sudden dairy intake that my body wasn't accustomed to digesting. But, for the friends that I met and the experiences I gained I felt the sacrifice was definitely worth it. Some people and stricter vegans then myself will not agree with my decision but I believe everything in moderation and trying to find a balance in life.

This blog and my YouTube account both reflect that relatively relaxed outlook, I use them as an outlet to share with other people the lessons that I'm learning. But I just thought I should write this disclaimer type post to give you a bit more understanding on how these posts and videos won't offer you a strict formula on how you should be a vegan, they're the gradual accumulation of things that I personally come across on my journey, which you may find useful for your journey too. If you're already the perfect vegan then I'm really not going to be much help but if you're thinking about maybe testing the waters and seeing if this may be something you're interested in then this may be the place for you. I suppose I'm an aspiring vegan, but I hope to always keep this relaxed frame of mind. I believe in this lifestyle and all the benefits that come along with it, and I want to share this passion for veganism and various other things I believe in with you, talking about an array of things as and when they inspire me whether it be a life lesson or a new ice-cream I've come across. I hope you've found this useful and that it's given you a slight more understanding on what this is all about!

Love, bean xxx