Now is the only time

Tiredness, stress, anger, death; recently I have felt so overwhelmed by these negative things that seem to try and take over my life, perhaps to an extent I've also been ignorant and not accepted the power they can have on your life if you allow them. As of late in the news there have been far too many articles for my comfort about young people tragically dying, due to both self-inflicted and natural causes. No cause of death makes it, for me, any less heart-breaking when you can see the masses of potential that these youngsters had. I think it also hits home pretty hard as I, like many others, am at a cross road in my life where I’m choosing the direction that I want to take, a decision that determines so much, not only for me but potentially for others too. In retrospect I see how self-absorbed I’ve been in my tedious everyday actions, forgetting to actually start living and appreciating each moment I'm gifted with.

I was in a fair amount of shock last night when I hear the news that a 13 year old girl called Talia had died, whose outlook on life had and will continue to teach me so much about what constitutes to real living. She was fighting cancer for 6 years yet she had hundreds of thousands of people subscribed to her on YouTube, and reached out to even more, inspiring so many to be a little happier and worry a little less. She inspired me personally in so many ways and the thing that hurt me the most about hearing of her death is that there was so much that I wanted to continue to learn from her. She accepted her situation, she wasn’t afraid to show how she was feeling and she did what made her truly happy. Need I say much more about this wonderful person? Ellen Degeneres was right when she described her as having an 'old soul'. I believe that she took her life firmly in both hands and ran with it, letting nothing slow her down. At 13 she had achieved more than most do in a lifetime because she was motivated and wasn’t going to let her personal demon, cancer, stand in her way, which would have been a much better excuse then most to not want to fight and achieve as much as they can. 

When I watched her videos it often made me feel so silly about myself because I'd been worrying and letting myself get upset about the most tedious of things yet she was teaching others incredible lessons. For instance, accepting your situation and the truth but not letting it dominate your life and instead highlighting the things that you do like, for her it was through the means of showing her bald head yet wearing makeup and showing off her favourite features of her face. This in itself makes me want to fight, I want to fight against my natural instinct of letting other people and the little voice in my head influence how much I achieve. I have a fair amount of dreams and I feel, even just in honour to Talia, that I should try my hardest to make sure that they come true. Recognise what it is that you want to achieve then run with it, don’t ever look back just keep on going. The second you stop and try to apply conventional logic then may lose the true wild spirit that it takes to achieve the most extravagant of aspirations.

Love, bean xx

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A Genuine Smile

I was on the train making my way to Glasgow and my head was pretty full with irrelevant worries which as the train progressed, through increasingly more beautiful countryside, seemed to gradually slip away. At one moment all I could see was fields which stretched for miles, slightly resembling a patchwork blanket consisting of hundreds of different shades of green. The next minute the train was surrounded by hills, with sparse white dots scattered across them. I think it's safe to say that the bliss scenery was a pretty big factor in helping me get lost away from my thoughts.

However, something much smaller caught my eye throughout the journey. A minor little detail, I may have been the only person to notice, but a woman was sat in the corner just taking in her surroundings yet there was something so pleasant about her. At first I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was about her that captured my attention to such a degree, whatever it was it made me want to just sit down with her over a brew. Yet she was just an ordinary woman. After a while had passed I figured that the part about her that was so inviting it was her most infectious smile. Once I was conscious of it I couldn't then help it, she'd passed on the disease to me. There was no way I couldn't not smile about somebody who just seemed to be so content with life, making everything seem simple. 

She could have been going through something awful, her life could have been the biggest mess imaginable but you'd never have guessed it due to the genuine smile painted across her face. For me, it was inspiring. I couldn't believe the difference it made to my mood almost instantaneously, I was absolutely intrigued by her friendly and calm disposition. It got me thinking what a difference it could make if everybody incorporated that simple gesture into their lives. We have little control over the majority of things in our life, ultimately we just have to go with the flow, but this is something that anybody and everybody can do. 

It's simple and in the grand scheme of things it's probably towards the bottom end of most people's priority list. But we just don't know how it could change somebodies day, like it did to me. And after a while you may even find it turns into a bit of a habit which helps you in creating an overall happier mentality. A genuine smile, who knew something free and so in-elaborate could make such an impact on a person's day.   

Love, bean xx

''Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.''

-Leo Buscaglia 

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