Now is the only time

Tiredness, stress, anger, death; recently I have felt so overwhelmed by these negative things that seem to try and take over my life, perhaps to an extent I've also been ignorant and not accepted the power they can have on your life if you allow them. As of late in the news there have been far too many articles for my comfort about young people tragically dying, due to both self-inflicted and natural causes. No cause of death makes it, for me, any less heart-breaking when you can see the masses of potential that these youngsters had. I think it also hits home pretty hard as I, like many others, am at a cross road in my life where I’m choosing the direction that I want to take, a decision that determines so much, not only for me but potentially for others too. In retrospect I see how self-absorbed I’ve been in my tedious everyday actions, forgetting to actually start living and appreciating each moment I'm gifted with.

I was in a fair amount of shock last night when I hear the news that a 13 year old girl called Talia had died, whose outlook on life had and will continue to teach me so much about what constitutes to real living. She was fighting cancer for 6 years yet she had hundreds of thousands of people subscribed to her on YouTube, and reached out to even more, inspiring so many to be a little happier and worry a little less. She inspired me personally in so many ways and the thing that hurt me the most about hearing of her death is that there was so much that I wanted to continue to learn from her. She accepted her situation, she wasn’t afraid to show how she was feeling and she did what made her truly happy. Need I say much more about this wonderful person? Ellen Degeneres was right when she described her as having an 'old soul'. I believe that she took her life firmly in both hands and ran with it, letting nothing slow her down. At 13 she had achieved more than most do in a lifetime because she was motivated and wasn’t going to let her personal demon, cancer, stand in her way, which would have been a much better excuse then most to not want to fight and achieve as much as they can. 

When I watched her videos it often made me feel so silly about myself because I'd been worrying and letting myself get upset about the most tedious of things yet she was teaching others incredible lessons. For instance, accepting your situation and the truth but not letting it dominate your life and instead highlighting the things that you do like, for her it was through the means of showing her bald head yet wearing makeup and showing off her favourite features of her face. This in itself makes me want to fight, I want to fight against my natural instinct of letting other people and the little voice in my head influence how much I achieve. I have a fair amount of dreams and I feel, even just in honour to Talia, that I should try my hardest to make sure that they come true. Recognise what it is that you want to achieve then run with it, don’t ever look back just keep on going. The second you stop and try to apply conventional logic then may lose the true wild spirit that it takes to achieve the most extravagant of aspirations.

Love, bean xx

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Souls

Death puts everything into perspective. It shows us the true meaning of life. I believe the true meaning of life to be love. Love is shown through our souls, nothing to do with out exterior selves and appearance. It speaks beyond our trials and tasks of every day living and represents us as beings which defines who we are beyond the point of death. The best people who have ever walked this earth, of which there have been many, have always shined from the inside out with love and continue to do so after passing.

I have recently been privileged with having a soul connection with a fellow earthling. This means that our relationship and friendship was made out of the purest thing. Love. The body of this soul was physically taken away from me. The signs had been there for days that this was going to happen but they were so subtle that I was blissfully unaware. Which meant that I lived, I lived in the present moment with my friend, which was what was meant to be - it was the universe's intentions. When this body was taken from me physically I thought all was lost. That this connection we had had gone forever. How I was wrong. What the universe quickly informed me of was that a soul connection lives on forever. Love conquers all, including life.

What I had to quickly learn for the first time was that physically we all go and leave this earth as earthlings, but our souls live on forever. How glad I was to be enlightened with this knowledge so soon after the parting of my dear friend, that our bodies do not define us but our souls do. After learning this I have realised that it is essential to let our souls speak for themeselves and let them define who we are whilst on earth. They are the only eternal aspect of who we are. When we are at peace with our souls we can then begin to accept others for who they really are as we have accepted ourselves. This is a connection of souls, and this is how me and my pal became souls mates, we accepted each other because of our spirits and allowed one another to shine, from the inside out.

After realising this suddenly my wails and screams for the return of my friend were meaningless. My friend was, and still is, with me. I realised that the universe had connected our two souls and that I was going to grow with my friend always, whether I liked it or not. I went beyond the grief and feelings of physically losing something dear to my heart and realised that the true gift of this friend hadn't been taken away from me.

I have been blessed with a soul mate. I will physically miss my pal everyday, thinking always of what she would do in each circumstance that I would have experienced with her. But I have no regrets, only occasional feelings of sorrow. No, everything that happens is meant to be. This is why the universe let me be with her till the very end. I was the only earthling to watch the last breaths of this beautiful earthling, the peace she possessed was an image I will carry forever. It changed the meaning of death for me. When an earthling is at peace with their soul it makes death, in essence, a fairly peaceful thing. Her peaceful death was the universe letting me know that she will always be taken care of.

So, how do I react and what do I think if I am not going through the usual definition of grief of loss? I am thankful. Thankful that I had such a great time physically with a fellow earthling on this earth for a fairly substantial amount of time. Thankful that I was able to learn from this earthling and experience the love that she always radiated. But more importantly, thankful that our souls will go on living with each other, nourishing each other always.

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